Tangled

How did this all happen in such a short period of time? I suppose it’s been a bit longer than it seems – at my age, time goes by more quickly, and perhaps twenty years or more have actually passed.  Regardless, I remember what it was like before and as people often do in retrospect, I remember it being better back then.

I also remember embracing all of it.  That was before I realized it was consuming me, instead of the other way around.  Like an invasive plant, it crept quietly taking an inch here or there, and wound itself around important, perhaps even sacred grounds.  There seems no getting rid of it now.  Only managing it.

A wise few have avoided it.  We generally view them as crazy.  Or old.  Or out of touch. I see them as free and unencumbered.

Oh, how I would love to be free of it.  I’ve broached the topic with others only to invite their scolding or criticism.  Do they not remember how much better it was before?  Or are they simply crushed by the weight of it, in a permanent state of acceptance?

At some point, a need to do more things in less time took over our lives.  At first, it was convenient.  And now, it is oppressive.

We are tangled to a treadmill and constantly looking to be recharged because all of these devices and connectivity are depleting us of precious energy.  We’ve gone from saving time to wasting time.  And from smart phones to dumb people.

I’ve tried to figure out how to untangle myself.  To pay cash.  To travel with a compass and a paper map.  To rely on pay phones if I needed to make a call.  To have conversations that aren’t typed on a keyboard.

But mostly, to not be found when someone is looking for me.  Even for a brief moment, to be by myself without fear of interruption or intrusion.  Without someone insistently saying, where have you been, simply because they couldn’t reach me for an hour.

I’m really not that important.  And what is important has gotten lost in this tangled mess.